guys who love cock and lick pussy, part 2

He texted me two nights in a row, and I kept him waiting. In the meantime, I sent him a cell phone pic of his high school yearbook page. My lil’ bro went to the same school as he did. So deliciously creepy, nonetheless.

G: What are your plans for tomorrow? Might you want to hang out then?

Ya know, after I’m awake, so sometime lateish

Hans: haha. sure. are you still able to be fucked hard? just curious.

G: What!?

When did I ever say I was able to be fucked hard?

Hans: haha you didn’t

G: You are just speculating about the state of disrepair my body must be in?

Hans: that’s why I’m asking

using it as an excuse to be provocative

G: Well how detailed of an explanation do you want?

Hans: whatever is hottest

G: Stories about internal injuries are never hot unless you have a medical fetish

Hans: :-/

G: I think the basic answer to your question is I’d trust myself with my body more than I’d trust another person

Hans: hm

G: But it doesn’t hurt to get off anymore. About a month after my last surgery it did.

Hans: bummer

G: Can’t say I’ve put anything inside of me that is quite as big as an average penis.

Though, in general, broken body inside, I have a preference for slightly small toys.

[I meant “broken body aside”]

Hans: have I told you that I’m into small penis humiliation? great opportunity for a teasing joke right there

G: What does that even mean? Like you have a small penis and like when girls make fun of it? Or you like when other people are shamed?

Hans: well I’m average (at least when hard), but the former

G: At least when hard? Like a grower not a showwer? Hmm, so that’s why you want a guy with a huge cock? Not because big wet cocks are like shiny trophies.

[“shower” looks kinda funny]

Hans: exactly. they are like trophies

G: Once I wrote this guy a heartfelt letter and slipped it under his door the day before he graduated. The last line was “p.s. you have the biggest dick I’ve ever seen; I would suck it anytime.” His roommate, famous for having a small dick and huge balls, found the letter and thought it was hysterical.

I am a lady of my word. He took me up on my offer a few years later when he visited.

Hans: mmmm that’s hot

Hans: omg that’s hot

G: I’m not a morning person and he woke me up before he was about to drive home. He kept being like, genie if you don’t want to do this, I can leave.

Hans: but you sucked him

G: And I was like, noooo stay, I’m just not a morning person so you just have to crawl into bed with me and wave your trophy penis in my face. I made him jerk of a little in front of me, I told him he needed to start and I would join in, and then I was enticed.

Hans: omg mmmm

G: I made him eat me out and fuck me with my husband dildo at the same time. He joked about how he wished he had his ex roommate’s “accomodator.” It’s a hat with a dildo attached.

Hans: haha. what’s a husband dildo?

G: When we were done we smoked and did a scenic drive around ny. What a glorious way to start a day.

G: My husband dildo is my longest relationship.

Hans: that’s so hot

G: His name is tom, my husband.

Hans: haha nice

G: I mean, it doesn’t really have a name.

Hans: how big is he?

G: Haha

G: It’s the kind of toy that is meant to be used with another girl.

The extra side is an excellent handle.

Hans: 🙂

G: He’s a little longer than five inches, but kinda skinny.

G: I really only use one side of it.

Hans: like me but I’m thick

G: I actually have the same toy in a bigger size and diff color but I’m so used to the small one.

Thick is good for gripping.

Hans: fuck mm

G: I can handle slighty bigger if there is an actual person attached.

Hans: yeah

you have any other memorable big cock stories?

G: Ha ha, at first when I read that I thought it said “cock memorabilia”

I do, but how about I save them for in person

Hans: haha

oh fuck mmmmm

G: I wonder if I could get pictures from that guy. I haven’t seen him in like five years but I bet he would at least be flattered if I asked.

Hans: thats so hot. i would love to see. you’re driving me wild 🙂

G: I can’t believe you are obsessed with other men’s huge cocks, ha ha. I think that’s like the ultimate humiliation.

Hans: mmhm

explain to me why it’s the ultimate humiliation?

G: Ha ha, no, I’m not gonna give you an explanation that you can get off to. That would be like rewarding it.

Hans: 🙂

G: do you like when I’m withholding?

Hans: yess a lot

G: 😛

Hans: you’re very sexy

G: I know

I think we could play well together

Hans: mmmhmmm

G: I bet you follow instructions carefully

Hans: very carefully

I’m very good at taking orders

G: Perfect. That’s exactly what I need now. I’m gonna go. Talk tomorrow?

Hans: yess

BEST CASE SCENARIO: We play with each other and maybe other people.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: We adore beautiful penises together.

Laugh all you want. It isn’t like we had sext (the text message version of cyber sex), or anything. I waited at least two minutes after our penis humiliation chat before I got off, although my hands were cummy well before then. I happen to have just purchased one of the only two remaining smart phones with an external keyboard. Not intentional, but way easier to text with when your hands are wet.

G:Wanna come over later?

Hans: mmmhm

G: To be clear, this isn’t a fuck date. Don’t get too excited.

Hans: well I assumed I wasn’t going to get to fuck you, but I don’t know what exactly qualifies as fuck date behavior and what doesn’t

G: Hmm, I’m not sure. Be on your best behavior? Use your indoor voice? Ha ha, I don’t know what to tell you.

Hans: ok

G: I should warn you in advance: no matter how friendly my cat looks, you should not pet her. That isn’t a metaphor.

Hans: haha thanks

Hans: well what do you have planned for us at ur apt since I can’t pet your cat 🙂

G: My lovely company?

There is really nothing to do in my apt.

I don’t even own a tv.

Hans: what time do you want me to come over to your fuck pad, oh I mean apt.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him… thinking about penises, and couldn’t wait for him to come over. Wondered whether he’s a penis aficionado or a bona fide connoisseur. The more I thought about it, the more I dripped all over myself. Obviously I was teasing when I told him to be on his best behavior. What I wanted was for him to push my boundaries. To challenge me with his twisted desires. To be as cheeky and fresh as he was in writing. I hid all of my narcotics (lots o’ pain killers from surgery) before he arrived.

Either he wasn’t comfortable with me or expected me to do all the work. Let’s just say, he didn’t deliver in person. There is a difference between shy and effete, submissive and ineffectual. Shy I am into; I like to make guys squirm. But he didn’t give me anything to go by. His affect was somewhat flat, as if he were removed, rather than reserved. I wondered about his meds: Trazadone and beta blockers. I wished I could get him a little drunk. Wanted him to be expressive, to confide in me. Don’t even remember what we talked about, it was so irrelevant. To simultaneously disarm him and make him uncomfortable, I told him he was “much shyer in person.” It was of no use. Finally he asked me if he could kiss me. ASKED ME. For god’s sake, I was disgusted. You know why Allister has successfully fucked me more than any other guy I was not in a relationship with? He doesn’t ask. He just touches. Even when I come over and am clear that I just wanna hang out, he knows once he touches me, I am his. Start, and I will join in.

I said “no.” He looked surprised and a little embarrassed. I liked it. Except he didn’t press any further. He thought he had been legit rejected. I wanted him to tell me why I should kiss him, what he was going to do for me. I wanted to make him work for it, to put himself out there. Like, duh, I invited you over to fuck me, now make me want it. I told him I wasn’t really into kissing (true story). Asked him if that weirded him out. He said, no, he wanted to do whatever people liked to do. I creamed my pants a little. Not really, but I smiled inside. Except he didn’t offer an alternative, propose how he could earn whatever he wanted. I felt like shaking him and saying, “Stop being such a pussy; just fucking throw me down on the couch.” I bet he would have been into that. We went back to conversation about who knows what. He said he should probably leave soon. Resignation! I thought, fuck, don’t got you where I want you. My night was made when, just to make conversation, I asked him what he was looking for (on okcupid) and added, “besides big cocks… you can’t really screen for those.” He smiled sheepishly. Was finally engaged. Replied, “No, you cant… I can’t believe you dumped that guy [in reference to the guy with an epic penis].” Mmmm. My faith was restored. We talked about past sexual experiences a little. He asked boring questions like when I lost my virginity. When he reciprocated with answers—stories—he was animated once again. Figured he was sexual animate and just needed a little unwinding. What better way to open up than to get naked together. I leaned in. He said he thought I didn’t like to kiss. A little impudent: I liked it. I straddled him and we made out, but still our bodies seemed a million miles away.

Some chicks prep for dates by defining their eyes with smoky liner, tossling their hair to give it that JBFed look. I got myself ready by swallowing Immodium. Sex is different after you’ve had your colon removed. I used to have to pee before and after sex. Considered it a preventative measure; I’ve never had a UTI. Now I barely pee, ever, even when I shit. Peeing has become secondary; it doesn’t precipitate a bathroom trip and it comes out last. Now I can always shit a little on command, empty myself out before I leave the house. Can you really be like, “Hold on one minute before you shove your cock in my pelvic cavity. Gotta empty it out for you! Don’t worry, my shit is liquid; it will come out real fast!!!” I dunno, but when I swallow Immodium, shit turns into piss. Thank you, Jesus. The colonless catch is, when I’m penetrated, instead of my bladder aching, I guess my ass will feel a little sore. Like foreves, maybe. I dunno. Eventually, when my body is a little more healed and I’ve figured out how to go to the bathroom less frequently, I hope to be able to get to the point where I like having my asshole rubbed. After all I’ve been through, anal pleasure is something I think I deserve.

When I got up from making out with him, and said I had to pee, it actually happened for realz. I was a little skeptical at first because he told me he had to pee too but I should go first. And I was worried that I’d poop a lot and it would smell gross. Although, gotta say, my shit is pretty inoffensive for whatever reason these days. Maybe because I only eat the blandest food ever. Or because it doesn’t have time to ferment. Sexy, sexy. By the time I went to the bathroom, I was dripping cum all over myself. Always careful not to wipe it away. I waited in my bed for him to unclothe me. I dunno, guys, everything just took like way longer than it was supposed to. He took little initiative. I am still too physically weak to take much myself. Passive and submissive are different things entirely. I guess my favorite part was his lifting my legs over my head so he could hump me properly and my least favorite part was having to position him so he was on top of me. I wanted him to press his weight against me so I could feel his cock begging for entry.

After forevs, he removed my underwear—without touching me first. The licking commenced immediately; he never really worked his way down. Oral was a snooze fest, as usual. I wanted to check my phone, have him play with his cock, have me play with his cock, or anything else. The whole time, the only real directions I gave him were “put fingers inside me,” which made it significantly better. Still, I had to make exaggerated noise to commend him. The first time with a new partner, I like it to be somewhat of a diagnostic. You don’t want to order someone around prematurely if they are going to do those things anyway. Some spontaneity is welcome. With the slightest bit of instruction, what didn’t work for me could have easily been improved upon. I rolled him off of me, laid him on his back.

Stumpy is the only way to accurately describe his penis. If it were a finger, it would be the thumb. I was impressed that he had some idea what it looked like, though. Most guys have no idea where they fall on the penis spectrum. It was, indeed, thick; but, unfortunately, short. As if he had taken a normal, nice cock and truncated an inch or two from the base. And he’s tall, so it looked kinda funny. Not a huge turn on under his boxer briefs. Normally I love tracing the outline of a cock through fitted underwear. I wondered whether he was even hard. It, like, bobbled. But when I got my face there, it was pretty. His head was perfectly shaped. There were no ugly veins. Looked like a diminutive version of Allister’s cock, which I learned to love. There was no gag factor until I got a little bored and my throat shrunk like an exhausted, deflated vagina. I rate penises on a scale from GAG-WORTHY to ORGAN-CRUSHING. His was just on the cusp of being worthy. Short and fat, it would have felt good inside me. His body smelled pretty, while his junk was scentless. I made a mental note to tell him not to shower next time: smell is basically a dealmaker for me. Switched from my mouth to my hand, when I got a little gaggy. Thought maybe he could be more of a hand guy, anyway. It grew a little bit, but not much. At that point I wasn’t really aroused enough to switch to sex. Like my clit wasn’t any harder than it would be from just making out or his saying something sexy or whatever. I need direct, manual stimulation.

Are you ready for it? Here is the saddest song. I sucked him for a while and it wasn’t really progressing. Eventually, he did the right thing and said, “Not sure if I’m gonna come; the beta blockers make it hard.” I asked him what I could do for him, told him he could give me instructions. He assured, “No, you’re doing great; just not sure if I can come.” I asked if he wanted to help. He was uninhibited about playing with himself in front of me. It was hot. I asked him again what I could do and he told me to “tease” him. Fairly ambiguous request. Does that mean cup his balls? Rub his asshole (is it weird that I think his ass hair is kinda a pretty color?)? Pinch his nipples? Bite his inner thighs? Stick my tongue in his ear? Drag my tongue across his body? It could mean soo many things! He told me to kiss him, and sucked my bottom lip HARD. It didn’t seem like I was of much use to him, so I touched myself tentatively while sprawled across his chest. He offered me his second hand, indicating that it was time for me to get off. It didn’t take me long, and after a few minutes I told him I was getting close. He agreed he was close, too; we both worked faster and were more attentive.

My legs tightened around his side, a few seconds after I felt him tense up and pump out cum on my back. As I collapsed in an orgasmy heep, I watched his pretty little face out of focus. Lying on top of him full of endorphins was the best part of the night. I know that sounds obvious. He was especially good at lying there, though, embraced in the moment, neglecting clean up. When we came to, he apologized for cumming on my bed. I told him I liked cum. What I really wanted to say was the only thing he should apologize for was not cumming on me more. Even though I couldn’t see it directly, it was so visual for me—how it shot out of him. Like I could see his face contorting, feel his body buckling, his hand beating, and a wet trail spurting on my back. It’s kinda bad, though, if I can go from most basic arousal to orgasm in the time it takes him to finish up. I’m not fast or anything. Psych meds: oy vey. Bet he thinks it doesn’t matter, because who wouldn’t want a guy who wants to serve them and who can last forever? Little does he know.

His balls are kinda droopy, like extra wrinkly skin. Saggy. What I really want, because he has a short penis and saggy balls, is for him to straddle my face and jerk off with his balls draped on my tits. But I guess what I don’t really understand about submission is how much I can test the guy’s limits. Like, would he enjoy cumming in my face, a dominant act, if I ordered him to do it, then spit in his mouth as a thank you gift? When he was ready to clean up, I’ve never seen anyone clean themselves so thoroughly and meticulously, in every crevice. Flaccid, his penis is truly tiny. It didn’t even hang. Just rested on the cushion that is his balls. I guess when he said he wanted a “hung” guy, he meant that literally.

It ended on a good note. He wasn’t expecting me to hug him, but he hugged me back, anyway. As he was halfway through the door, he leaned back in, gave me a quick peck on the lips, a sheepish smile, and a curt “goodnight.” It never occurred to me that I would never see him again. We had barely even started.

He was most at ease when we were lying in bed naked. Even when he was walking around my room naked. I figured now that we had gotten the first time out of the way, he would be comfortable enough to put on his game face. Preparing for the next encounter, I went through every scenario in my head.

BEFORE:

parker on hans 1

AFTER:

parker on hans 2

parker on hans 3

parker on hans 4

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