Homo Erectus (March 14, 2014)
Clyde: Hey, what are you up to next week? We should get together again…
Genie: [screenshots of a convo I had with one of our mutual friends a few days earlier]
Clyde: Oh no
Clyde: Did I break you
Genie: Ha ha ha, well at least no internal injuries this time.
Genie: Have been going to acupuncture for my back.
Clyde: Oh man! I’m sorry
Clyde: I really had fun I wish my dick didn’t ruin your body
Genie: Thanks. Not your fault.
Clyde: Still bummed
Genie: Well your dick didn’t ruin my body per se. Was actually satisfied for days afterwards, so there is that.
Genie: Yeah, bummer.
Clyde: Could be worth it
Clyde: I want you again but it may not be a good idea if you get hurt days later
Genie: Yeah, I mean I want you too. The situation is just silly, like irreconcilable mechanical differences.
To review, I’ve found delightfully apropos images when searching for “elephant cock” and “elephant chihuahua.” We’re all familiar with rule 34 of the universe: if it exists, there is porn of it. Let’s add: everything exists, and it is on the internet.
Paul, you did this to me! No, I definitely did this to myself when I yelled, “FUCK ME HARDERR!!!”
Addendum (April 16, 2014)
Paul: How is Clyde?
Paul: Clyde McManus.
Genie: Did you read the post I sent you the link to?
Paul: I think so.
Genie: Not being able to walk or sneeze or laugh for three days is one thing: it’s totally worth it. Last time, I was crippled for one month. I spent 400 dollars on acupuncture.
Paul: You should send him the invoices.