girls who love cock and lick pussy

years ago, i went to a small liberal arts college, inhabited by “free thinkers,” where atheism, communism and free love reigned. everyone knew everyone, there was no police presence, calls for help were routine because there were no real consequences for your actions, and nothing really bad ever happened to good people. if you got a facebook message from a stranger, you could at least check references. after the fact, this girl’s references told me that she did heroin and dropped out of school. 

on my facebook profile, under “interests,” one of many things i listed was, “girls who love cock and lick pussy.” another of many things i listed was, “drunken facebook messages.” i wasn’t soliciting attention, but i guess i shouldn’t have been surprised when i got it. 

from “ivory” at 4:32 am, subject “respect discretion”: 

speaking of drunken facebook messages, i was perusing the facebook like the good dork that i am but i was intrigued by your interestss…and was wondering..are you interested in maybe having a threesome with me and my friend that is a boy, he is not a [someone from our school] hes actually 31, but hes hot and clean and yeah i have never hooked up with a girl but i am interested in trying it out…let me know…oh and if you could keep this between you and me that would rock…have a good night

from “ivory” at 4:50 am:

it just occured to me that that may have come off as a little forward, basically you sound like a cool chick, you don’t have to be interested to write back, i’m just horny and you seem like a decent chick to talk to about this sort of shit , it is hard for me to find chicks i’m attracted to cause its purely a psychological thing for me, i hate dumb bitches…

response from me:

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find your messages intriguing. I’m not quite sure who you are, but you look cute from your facebook/yearbook pics. I don’t want to commit to anything, but I’d definitely be interested in meeting you and possibly the boy. Although, I have to say, I wonder about any 31 year old who is hooking up with a 19 year old. Are you interested in hooking up with girls alone or just with guys? I’m not exactly the most experienced with girls either. I’ve only hooked up with two girls for a grand total of four times. And hooking up with girls still makes me a little nervous. Don’t worry about sounding too forward. Forward is good and anyone who can manage to surprise me is worth exploring further. I like that you think I’m the right kinda girl to talk to about how horny you are. I don’t exactly have the world’s most active sex life at the moment so I definitely understand. As for psychological shit, there are some girls I like for psychological reasons and some girls I like for physical reasons, but, when it comes down to it, on a purely physical level I’m more attracted to guys. What can I say, I love cock. But I’d rather hook up with a girl who I connect to on a mental/emotional level than a guy who I just want to bone. In any event, I’m glad you messaged me even if it’s a bit crazy. It’s exciting to find a chick who is just as crazy as I am. Maybe we can hang out sometime later this week. I’m sure there are plenty of [from our school] boys who would love to have a 3some too. Some might even be willing to keep it on the DL. Where do you know this 31 year old from and why are you so convinced that he’s clean?

 

I thought my response was extremely receptive especially considering the craziness of her message. A little foward, really? I do like that some stranger thinks I am the right kind of girl to discuss her horniness with. I can picture the conversation now: “I’m not really interested, but I know you are really horny, and I just wanted to let you know that I understand.” Ha, as if that would ever happen. Obviously I’m interested. But I don’t hear back from her for weeks. I am a little disappointed. I thought I said I was in and the dubiousness about the guy was a small detail . 

 

Weeks later, at our college festival, where everyone gets wasted, gets fucked, and does ‘shrooms (except for me), I spot her in a crowd, or should I say “in a circle of people” (because hippies gather in circles, like drum circles). She is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. Bleached blonde dreads, vibrant. I walk past her with a friend (who didn’t go to school with us, so I was respecting discretion), informed him that we were, in fact, walking back in the same direction, told him to look to his right, and checked her out once more. He agreed. She was stunning.

 

I get home the next night and there is a message on my door. Have no mistake: When I say there is a message “on my door,” I don’t mean there is a message affixed to my door. I mean there is a message written directly on my door, with white board markers that were still attached despite the lack of white board, sprawled out for all of my dormies and innocent bystanders to see. It read: “I love cock, I love pussy, I love you. Love, Ivory.” The ‘loves’ were hearts; visualize artistic license. It was crazy and a little embarrassing, even though I was not the one who requested discretion. I wanted her more now than ever. I never heard from her again. 

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