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Author Archives: indefenseofgettingoff
the viewership, part one
This is an exhaustive list of the search terms eliciting corresponding results through which people arrived at my blog between the dates of Novermber 20th, 2009 and March 20th, 2009. To consolidate the list and avoid tediously reporting the hit-by-hit … Continue reading
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The Social Psychology of Sexual Decision Making
This is an excerpt from a social psychology test I recently submitted. I analyze the situation described in “You can’t improve upon perfection,” using concepts from our social psychology text book, “The Social Animal.” In case you are wondering, … Continue reading
the oral phase/plight of a ho bag
me: i was talking to laura [my cousin, who is in her mid-thirties—approximately ten years older than i am] today about what a “fuck date” is and she was asking me how i knew i was going on fuck dates … Continue reading
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masturbate for health!
I received this pro-masturbation propaganda in my school inbox courtesy of the “The Sexpert,” because clearly I need more incentive to masturbate. They should affix “remember to masturbate regularly” reminders in the school showers alongside those useless and ignored “monthly … Continue reading
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The Hierarchy of Bodily Functions
Andy is seriously fucking up my sleep schedule because he wakes up at a normal time regardless of how late he goes to sleep. Last time I fucked him, the next morning he insisted, “One day I am going to … Continue reading
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The Fallacy of Masturbatory Deprivation
The fallacy of masturbatory postponement is the next orgasm you have is never the same as it would have been without the delay. After a week or so, your first orgasm is a slap-in-the-face. Overstimulated and oversensitive, you wish the … Continue reading
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leaking
daria: I feel like you should post about leaking, because maybe some girls will find it and be enlightened me: ha ha, my 13-yr-old viewership daria: the ones who googled about parents walking in while masturbating, or whatever it was … Continue reading
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sex pretty much cures everything
When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was so traumatized sexually that I quit masturbating—as much as is humanly possible. Let’s say I “cut down” drastically. When I explain to my friends how much I hated masturbating, they say, … Continue reading
the slippery slope of ass fingering
Janine: i finally came around to the finger up the ass bit but it took years as in doing it to guys Janine: i’m not keen on it myself me: ha ha me: whose ass has the honor Janine: brad … Continue reading
the inevitable downfall of a sexual narcissist
When my boyfriend and I broke up permanently, I thought the meanest thing I could possibly do was to ask him to throw out the naked pictures of me. It finalized the break up (I hadn’t asked him to get … Continue reading
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