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Author Archives: indefenseofgettingoff
hippies think bodies are beautiful
As long as we are on the topic, let me tell you about giving naked pictures to guys. My senior year of college, when my relationship suddenly became long distance, I gave my boyfriend a stack of naked pictures of … Continue reading
the series of one-oh-eight
Sleep studies were among my major concerns as a sleepless middle schooler. I couldn’t figure out how you could masturbate while being monitored, and what if you can’t fall asleep without getting off! I know most middle schoolers are preoccupied … Continue reading
Posted in series of one-oh-eight
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spit dries; lube is forever
Because my best friend and I are both losers, we made a bet. I bet that I could fuck a girl before she could fuck a guy. It took four months for either of us to win. We couldn’t figure … Continue reading
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thanks for the arousal; now where’s the cock?
charlie: http://theperfectphallus.blogspot.com/ im a fan genie: cool, i’ll check it out i had girl sex the other night charlie: haha so i (sort of) heard how was it? genie: good except for the lack of cock charlie: hahaha i mean … Continue reading
no more dildos in the bathroom, part 1
My brother “Will” is ten years younger than I am, with no siblings in between. And no, he was not an “accident.” As a twenty-four-year-old, I am halfway in between friend and authority figure to my fourteen-year-old brother. He tells … Continue reading
you can’t improve upon perfection, part two
He invited himself back with me, which kind of annoyed me. I mean, he didn’t even ask, he just assumed we were going to the same place. He followed me, almost, when I said maybe I would take the subway … Continue reading
you can’t improve upon perfection, part one
After three weeks of vacation, the unthinkable happened: I fell asleep while watching porn, not out of exhaustion, but boredom! To be filed under: ways in which you know you lead a cushy life, a student’s lifestyle. Upon waking up … Continue reading
if it turns out you’re a bitch, i’d still fuck you
What I love about guys is, they love to be used. Case in point: My best friend had this party for which she sent out invites on facebook. One of the respondents—let’s call him “Andy”—had red hair. I thought, “How … Continue reading
Posted in if it turns out you're a bitch i'd still fuck you
Tagged andy, gingers, narcissism
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In Color
I have always had this obsession with red hair. I can’t explain it, exactly. It isn’t sexual, per se. Throughout my life there was been women I’ve idolized (Dr. Judy, Angela Chase, a best friend), men I’ve wanted, and even … Continue reading
on cum
This is the most embarrassing thing I’ve written–ever! I’m seriously not this disgusting; it’s just that gay guys bring out the disgusting in you or, rather, dating a gay guy brought out the disgusting in me. It’s just like any … Continue reading
InDefenseOfGettingOff's Blog 